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| Today my "ways to live a happier healthier life coach" told me to forgive someone who has hurt me. Out of all the people in this world, I can only think that it meant you....
The ways that you have hurt me have been uncountable. I have forgiven you many times, and still you continue to disappoint. You over promise and under deliver. You will never be a good father, its just not in your genes. From you I have learned many things about parenting and about how I want my kids to view and respect both of their parents. You have made me appreciate my mother more than I ever thought possible. Its hard for me to say good bye to the little girl dreaming about how much her daddy loves her, but I must. I refuse to let you hurt me any longer with your selfish protocols. Before, I would never let myself not try with you for the pure fact that when you die I want to say that I have tried my hardest and did anything and everything to have you in my life. Well I can finally say that is true, and the final part of my role in this relationship is to say goodbye. You are not the kind of person I want in my life. I do not want my children to have to put up with your false promises. Today I choose to forgive you yet again. You are forgiven for everything that you have done to me as a disappointment or let down. What makes this time different from all the others is the fact that I have realized that just because I forgive you does not mean that I have to continue to try to let you in on my life. That's why this is goodbye. I forgive you for hurting me, but I choose to not have a relationship with you and just because I choose not to have a relationship with you doesn't mean that I don't love you. It simply means that I love myself more than I love you and that is what life is all about. This relationship is drained, I can not go on believing that you are just going to change. You are my father, but you are not my dad. There is nothing more left to say.
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| Today when I looked you in the eyes, I realized that you are exhausted.
Thank you for working so hard for us. I am sorry that I don't tell you enough how much you truly mean to me.
My goal from here on out, is to make your life a little easier and not give you such a hard time like I seem to do
I want your world to be wonderful.
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| Some people wait their whole life to own a home this beautiful..... My time came at 20, I am blessed. Thanks for giving me everything I could ever dream for!
Happiness....
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| Throughout my days I have realized that life is only what you make it. If you want to go around thinking that things can get better then they will. However if you dwell in the fact that things HAVE to get better, with time being relevant, you are going to be spending a lot of your moments wishing and hoping for better times. In the past, I feel like I was doing things to plan for the future, always trying to rush my time. I have learned that rushing isnt the best of things to do with time. Time.... you never get it back. So make plans for the future, but live in the day because before you know it the day will turn to night and it will all be over.
I love blue october.
I love our home..
I enjoy being healthy..
I want a child.. but i am not "rushing time"* see above *
I feel as if I am lost when it comes to a lifetime career... no clue
This is probably my 5th post in the last couple months... I write just to write and then I erase it... this one will get published... hopefully from now on they all will!
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| Well lets see, I have came to terms that no one will read this, and that is fine because those days are over... so instead, I write for me!
Hmm as of right now, I have no complaints... I have recently embarked in a major lifestyle change which has left me 25lbs lighter, healthier, and soo much happier. I still have a good bit of ways to go 14 more lbs to be exact, but I love where this is heading!
My first 5k run is May 2, Its something that I have always wanted to do.... I think we may be doing another one at the end of summer.
Cody and I are looking for houses near where we live. We expect to be in our new home in August. This part is unearthly exciting and scary and fun and exhausting, I think that any adjective could probobly in someway discribe the experience. Since we live in one of the nicest areas in Columbus, its a lot harder to find a house within our budget than it would be back home... but we would NEVER go back. There just isnt the amount of oppurtunity there.
Its becoming more and more prevevalant that Cody is my soul mate, I literaly couldnt ask for more. After being married for 15 months, I would expect to be having a child within the next 5 years, we have a plan, its nice.
I have realized as of lately that I would like to rekindle some of my old friends and reconnect with my family. One of my only friends in this area will be moving soon, I want to feel confident in saying that we will remain friends but that means that I must know that I've tried my hardest to keep my long distance friends from the past. Life is to short to lose the ones you care about.
School is going good, I love my major and I def. think that it was worth the wait!
Here is a list of things that I want to dedicate myself to for the year of 2009:
- Continue to embark on this healthy lifestyle and that means.
- Workout 4-6 days a week
- Continue to gravitate towards only organic food
- Follow good health guidelines
- Stay away from overly processed, sugary, and fatty food.
- Get more organized and do my best at:
- Be the best person and wife that I can be.
- Plant a garden.... organic veggies and flowers
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